A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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