A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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