roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops