What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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knock knock come in

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops