There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Okay.

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

Sir, your wife is dead

wsde

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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