Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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