Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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how man

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops