What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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National security?

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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