How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

What is green and slow Grass.

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

My jeans

What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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