You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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