Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

womens rights.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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