Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops