A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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