What's brown and sticky A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +22

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops