So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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I have a horse.

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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