What's brown and sticky A stick

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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