why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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