What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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ok

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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What's white and gluey Glue

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops