Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops