Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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