Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops