What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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