Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops