Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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A storm be brewin!

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Dwight Howard

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A man died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops