Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

A seal walks into a club.

Rylan Clark

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

women's rights, lol

Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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