What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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