How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

womens rights.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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