A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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