Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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I'm Polish.

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Women's Rights

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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