T u r n i p s

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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lets bomb africa

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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