Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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BIG PENIS

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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penis

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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