"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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This is an anti-joke.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops