What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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