What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops