- Anti Joke

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs (_ |____| O O -

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

Bitch

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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