Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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