Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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hi

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops