mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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My children are mistakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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