A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

Cripples are lame.

Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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