Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

thumb_up thumb_down -10

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops