Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops