A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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The holocaust

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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