What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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