Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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