Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

A fat guy!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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