- Anti Joke

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

why is pie good. because it just is.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

whats 1 + 1? 2

kennah campion when she talks

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

whats worse than a kane nothing

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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