What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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V I T A M I N C !

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Daniel is a fag

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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