What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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your momma eats so much ice cream, you often find yourself without anything sweet to eat late at night when you're hungry

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What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

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pobody's nerfect

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops