Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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kkkk

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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My Nan, that is all.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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