what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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