A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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