What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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