How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

if you can read this you dont' need glasses

What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

Oh, go away

What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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