What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops