-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

whats green and slimy? green slim

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

taking out the trash... at night

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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